What stops you from speaking up?

What stops you from speaking up? Here are some of the barriers to speaking in public that I have experienced myself and seen my client’s experience.

Your response might be you don’t want to forget your words, waffle or wander off the point.

If we had to summarise all those worries and barriers, that’s all about not wanting to make a fool of ourselves.   We don’t want to mess up.

But maybe it is something deeper…something about how we feel about ourselves and how we want others to see ourselves.

Here are three barriers that I have experienced myself and also see time and time again in my clients’ experiences.

You know you could or should say something, but you are not sure what to say or how to say it.

So we choose silence

At best this silence is disappointing but at worst it is hurtful.   Imagine a situation where your voice could make a difference but instead, you choose silence.  Perhaps you could have input an idea or opinion.  Maybe you could have made someone feel better or valued.  Perhaps you could have given a voice to someone who didn’t have one or who was in distress.

And you choose silence.

I get it.  And I have done it. Often there aren’t any consequences but there are missed opportunities for us to make our mark.

And our silence can be deafening and hurtful to those on the receiving end.

You know you want to say something but you are not sure how to say it.

In these situations, it is always worth being mindful that there will always be people who say things better than us, quicker than us, louder than us, and more confidently than us.  That doesn’t mean that our voice is any less important or has less value than others.

Often, we lean back just at the moment we should be leaning in.  We let others steal our voice.

This happens in organisations all the time: people holding back, people drowning out in meetings where their voice could make a difference.

You know what to say and how to say it, but no one listens or takes any notice.

Oh my word, this can be annoying.  Speaking up isn’t just about using our voice but the way our voice is heard, how it lands and the impact it has on others.

We get frustrated and give up.

Knowing how to use our passion, language, and energy to persuade others to resonate with them to make them stop and think is a skill and so very necessary in this divided and divisive world of ours.

Here’s another fourth reason that I have been meditating on recently –

When what we say, however, we say it, will shake things up

Whenever what we say challenges the norm or the expected then that means there are consequences to what we say.

We are fearful

Perhaps we are challenging the norm?

Perhaps we are speaking up for others who don’t have voice.

Maybe we are placing ourselves in a vulnerable position by speaking out – one that will make us stand out.

 Speaking up is a step of courage, even more so when we are shaking things up, offering a different perspective on the world, questioning what we see and hear, and challenging the status quo.

What is holding you back? What stops you from speaking up?

If you’d like help preparing for a talk, let’s chat – get in touch.